Attachment therapy, often referred to as attachment-based therapy, is a therapeutic approach rooted in attachment theory. This form of therapy focuses on the relationships and bonds between people, particularly those between family members and romantic partners. Understanding and improving these bonds can lead to healthier, more secure relationships and improved emotional well-being. Our true nature is to connect and Attachment Therapy can help clear away what blocks us from connection.
Understanding Attachment Theory
Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby and later expanded by Mary Ainsworth, posits that early relationships with caregivers form the blueprint for all future relationships. These early attachments can be secure attachments or insecure attachments, influencing how we relate to others throughout their lives. Secure attachment as children typically leads to healthy, stable relationships later in life. Insecure attachment however, can result in having difficulties in forming and maintaining safe and connected relationships.
Types of Attachment Styles
There are four primary attachment styles:
- Secure Attachment: Individuals with secure attachment feel comfortable with intimacy and are generally more relaxed and flexible in their relationships.
- Anxious Attachment: These individuals often crave closeness but fear abandonment and can be overly dependent on their partners and need a lot of reassurance.
- Avoidant Attachment: People with avoidant attachment may struggle with intimacy and prefer emotional distance or more autonomy in relationships.
- Disorganized Attachment: This style is characterized by a lack of clear attachment behavior, often resulting from trauma or inconsistent caregiving.
The Goals of Attachment Based Therapy
The primary goal of attachment therapy is to help individuals understand their attachment style and how it affects their relationships. This understanding can lead to the development of healthier relationship patterns and improved emotional well-being. The therapy aims to:
- Enhance Self-Awareness: Clients learn about their attachment style and how it impacts their behavior and relationships.
- Improve Relationship Skills: Clients develop skills to create and maintain healthy, secure relationships.
- Heal Past Wounds: Addressing and processing past attachment-related traumas can lead to emotional healing and growth.
- Foster Secure Attachment: The ultimate goal is to help clients develop secure attachment patterns, leading to more connected, joyful and stable relationships.
Techniques Used in Attachment Therapy
Attachment therapy employs various techniques to help clients achieve these goals:
- Exploration of Past Relationships: Clients are supported to explore their early relationships with caregivers. Understanding these early experiences can provide insight into current relationship patterns and behaviors.
- Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT): EFT, created by Sue Johnson. helps clients identify and express their emotions in a healthy way. This technique can be particularly effective in helping clients with anxious or avoidant attachment styles.
- Mindfulness Practices: Mindfulness can help clients become more aware of their thoughts and feelings, leading to greater self-awareness and emotional regulation. This practice can be beneficial for all attachment styles, particularly for those with avoidant attachment.
- Somatic Experiencing (SE): SE aims to resolve past traumas, stress and shock that become rooted in the body after difficult experiences. When the nervous system is dysregulated it’s much more difficult to attach securely.
- Dynamic Attachment Repatterning Experience (DARe): This groundbreaking approach to healing the attachment system combines nuts and bolts relational guidance with somatic healing techniques that help individuals with anxious, avoidant or disorganized attachment styles learn to create and show up for secure functioning relationships.
Benefits of Attachment Based Therapy
Attachment therapy offers numerous benefits, including:
- Improved Relationship Satisfaction: Clients often experience more fulfilling and stable relationships.
- Enhanced Emotional Regulation: Attachment therapy can help clients manage their emotions, triggers and reactions more effectively.
- Greater Self-Awareness: Clients gain a deeper understanding of their attachment style and its impact on their relationships.
- Healing from Past Trauma: Addressing and processing past attachment-related traumas can help clients feel safer and more secure in their lives.
- Development of Secure Attachment: The ultimate goal is for clients to develop secure attachment patterns, leading to healthier and more satisfying relationships.
Finding an Attachment Based Therapist
If you are interested in attachment therapy, finding a qualified therapist, coach or relationship expert is crucial. Look for someone with specialized training in attachment theory and attachment-based therapeutic techniques. Many practitioners offer online sessions, making it easier to find a specialist who meets your needs.
Attachment based therapy is a powerful approach that can help individuals understand and improve their relationships. By exploring past attachments and developing healthier relationship skills, clients can heal from past traumas and build secure, fulfilling relationships. If you struggle with insecure attachment styles, consider seeking attachment therapy to enhance your emotional well-being and relationship satisfaction.
Want to learn more about the habits that build secure attachment? Download the Secure Attachment Workbook HERE.
About Me: Rose Viggiano is a Relationship Expert and Attachment Specialist who helps individuals and couples heal the past, break current patterns and move from disconnected, difficult relationships to ones that are loving, connected, and safe.